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  • Pamela McCord

Pamela's Rules For Everything

Do you have pet peeves? I do. I turned mine into rules. I think everyone should follow them. It will make the world a better place.


Restaurants

  1. Coffee should always be served with a saucer. I HATE having nowhere to put the spoon after it’s been used and before it’s used again. Really? On the tabletop or among the scrambled eggs on your plate?

  2. Restaurants should provide each table with a pitcher of salsa. Or at least a bottle of the red Sriracha sauce. Either goes well on anything except dessert. And I wouldn’t rule even that out.

  3. When someone asks for egg whites cooked over well, how about flipping them over and making them lacy around the edges instead of scrambling them into little bits?


Markets

  1. Come on. If you’re going to have a salad bar, can you at least make sure the lettuce and produce look fresh? Maybe mist them or something? Is it so hard to make things look appetizing?

  2. And do you have to have the salad bar ingredients so far back that even a tall person has to bend over and reach to be able to access items at the back of the bar? Seriously! What are short people supposed to do?


Driving

  1. For God’s sakes people. What’s with speeding up when someone wants into your lane? You know you’re being a jerk if you slow down once they have moved over. You know you only sped up to keep them out. Really?

  2. If you move over into someone’s lane in front of them, at least have the decency to maintain a good speed so they don’t resent you for blocking their forward momentum. As a corollary to the above rule no. 1, you know you’re being a jerk if you speed up to pass someone and change lanes in front of them and then slow down so the people already in the lane have to slow down to your speed. If you want to go slow, then go to the back of the line where you don’t hold everyone else up. It’s not rocket science!

  3. Use your turn signals, people! Do you know how many times I’ve been sitting waiting to make a right turn but someone is coming up the street I want to turn on so I have to wait for them to pass, only to watch them turn onto the street I’m on! Why did I have to wait for you? Arrggh!


Angry Shoppers

  1. Why are there so many angry shoppers, particularly during the holiday season? Everybody’s in the same boat, people! Would it kill you to be polite?? Everybody wants a parking space. You’re not the only one! Have you already forgotten the Golden Rule? Treat others the way you want to be treated!


Toothpaste

  1. What is the deal with EVERY movie and TV show having someone brushing their teeth? Is it supposed to be sexy to see someone drooling and spitting? It’s like an epidemic. Stop it! I don’t want to see it! I particularly hate it when they spit in the sink and don’t rinse it out. I’m gagging!

  2. And what about when you get in the car with someone in the morning who waited until just before walking out the door to brush their teeth. You’re shut up in the car with them and they open their mouth to speak and a blue cloud comes out. You know the one. Toothpaste fumes! Is it so much too ask for you to please brush your teeth when you get up in the morning and not make it the last thing you do before leaving the house so you inflict your toothpaste breath on everyone stuck in a small confined space with you?

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